Your wedding day is supposed to be magical and special, full of love and joy, but all too often, drama creeps in and conflict abounds. Here’s a few easy ways to avoid conflict on some hot-button issues.
How to avoid conflict…
When choosing bridesmaids: Whether you agree or not, there are probably a few people in your life who will naturally assume they’re going to be a part of your wedding party. Ultimately, this decision is up to you and you should never feel bullied into including someone in your wedding. Adding additional bridesmaids or groomsmen adds more stress (in keeping track of everyone), more expense (in the cost of gifts and rehearsal dinner), and, well, more people to the day. However, if you’re fearful that excluding someone will cause more trouble than it’s worth, there’s no hard and fast rule on the number of bridesmaids you can have. Or, simply ask that person to serve in another way, such as a program attendant, scripture reader, or honorary bridesmaid.
When determining the guest list: Narrowing down your wedding guest list can be tricky business, especially when you’re working hard to include friends, family, co-workers, and guests of your parents and future in-laws, but if you’re working within a budget, most likely, trimming the guest list is an absolute necessity. To avoid drama, allot a certain number of invites for your parents and in-laws. Then, sit down with your fiancé and begin categorizing your potential guests into lists based on importance and closeness. Worse case scenario, send out a first round of invites, wait for RSVPs, and then follow up with a second round of invites to less-close acquaintances.
When deciding whether or not to invite children: Choosing to host an adults-only affair, especially for your reception, is completely legitimate, but before you make the decision, think long and hard about the implications. If you have close relationships with a lot of children (i.e. nieces, nephews, cousins, friends with young kids), it might be hurtful to exclude them from your day. However, if you’re worried about your beautiful reception turning into a scene from Chuck E. Cheese, don’t back down on your stance about keeping the guest list to 18 and over. Instead of including the words “adults only” on your invitations, simply be sure to write only the names of invited guests on the envelopes (i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, as opposed to the Smith family). If you notice that a family RSVPs for more guests than you included, simply call them and explain that the affair is strictly for adults.
When trying to involve your fiancé in the planning: Men often take a backseat when it comes to wedding planning for a number of reasons. Maybe they don’t care about floral arrangements, maybe they’re at a loss for what to do, or maybe they simply don’t realize you need or desire their help. Whatever the case, if you’d like your groom to get more involved in the wedding plans, simply explain to him how much you’d like his help. More importantly, give him specific tasks that he can coordinate, such as planning the honeymoon, choosing the playlist for the reception, or overseeing the food selection for the rehearsal dinner or reception.