Mother-in-law

Monster-in-Law/Mother-in-law
In-laws can be challenging in the first place. But, when you throw in a temperamental and unstable mother-in-law
(MIL), things can be exponentially challenging. A few years ago, there was an email that echoed around the world from the most spiteful and venomous MIL.
Here are some snippets from the email:
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you. Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
 
* When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless
you are positively allergic to something.
 
* You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
 
* You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
 
* When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
 
It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren’t the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.
 
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is
nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over
the years for their daughters’ marriages.) If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
What would your reaction be to that email? Quite shocking, right? If you would like to read the email click here. Not all mother-in-law’s are that bad, but it sometimes can be challenging to deal with overbearing, has to have the last word or is always right, or I’m his Mother, I know best-types. Some tips to always rise above and not stoop to her level is:
1. Remember the “mere exposure affect”
Contrary to the well-known saying that “familiarity breeds contempt,” in fact, familiarity breeds affection.
The “mere exposure effect” means that repeated exposure makes people like faces, music—even nonsense syllables—better.  The more often you see another person, the more intelligent and attractive you tend to find that person. Instead of avoiding your mother-in-law, take the time to see her and talk to her. You may start getting along better if you engage with her more often.
2. Do something nice for the difficult person
It’s really true: Do good, feel good. You’ll also inspire the difficult person to feel more loving toward you.
3. Act in accordance with your own values
One of the mysteries of human nature is that when we accept ourselves, other people tend to accept us. When we don’t accept ourselves, people tend to pester us. If you know your own values, and live according to them, pointed remarks don’t sting nearly as much and the other person begins to realize you have your own life and will live it accordingly.
So, don’t let the mother-in-law or any in-law take you for granted or make you feel inadequate. Your significant other chose YOU, so let that speak for itself.

A Toast

A Toast

 

What’s in a wedding toast? All eyes are on you. This is not the time to make a farce of the moment and pull a“Bridesmaid’s” sing-a-thon, who-sung it better. To avoid common mistakes: don’t pick up your glass until the very end; don’t cover your face with your notes; and don’t bring up reams of paper. Here are some additional tips to delivering a heart felt and memorable speech.

LEAVE THE EX’S BACK IN TEXAS If you remember one thing from this list, please remember this: Don’t talk about past lovers (yours or theirs), don’t talk about past proposals (even if they were turned down) and don’t talk about past spouses (“Mary is so much prettier than your last wife”).
NO SEX PLEASE, WE’RE GETTING MARRIED Everyone knows that sex is part of awedding night, but no
body wants to be reminded of it at the reception. And we certainly don’t want to hear about that drunken night in Cancún, or that morning in the conference room at work, when you walked in on the couple, ahem,updating their Facebook status.
STICK TO THE SCRIPT Tangents are not your friend. DON’T MAKE AMENDS While boasting about how close you are to the bride or bridegroom is déclassé, the opposite is even worse: apologizing for not being close enough. A wedding toast is no place for a laundry list of your failings as a friend or relative.
DON’T DRINK AND CLINK If you’ve had more than one drink, think twice before you clink. As any nutritionist would tell you, booze and a toast don’t go well together.
So what should you say? We advise to use a simple formula: 3-1-2. First, speak for a few minutes in third
person, sharing a funny story or a warm memory about the bride.“Let me tell you something about Becky you may not know.”or “I knew she had found true love that time she called me and said.” Next, say a few genuine words in first person, explaining your own feelings. “I have always admired my sister /friend for.”Finally, speak directly to the couple, using second person. “May you have a life filled with…”or “May you always find joy in…”
As for an ending, do as the British do for a wedding toast -raise your glass and offer a simple salutation,“Ladies and gentlemen, to the couple.”

Kid Free Zone

Kid Free Zone
Sometimes a wedding is for adults only. A kid free zone just makes it easier on the bride and groom and the place hosting the event. If an invitation says to Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmoe, that does not mean Mr.and Mrs. Joe Schmoe and Sally, Suzy and Sam. We should assume (rather, we should know) that kids probably aren’t invited to this wedding since their names are not specifically address on the invite. Similarly, if you, your significant other, and your son are addressed and invited to attend a wedding as guests that does not mean your son’s girlfriend is granted a free ride to the party.
Make it clear to all others, definitely on the invitation and verbally if necessary, that sorry sir but no kids allowed.Weddings aren’t a throw together high school bash, but instead the result of months and sometimes years of planning and need I point out the obvious, they cost lots of moolah.  Perhaps money was tight, or the guest list was already over capacity and the groom had to invite his stepsister’s husband. Whatever the reason, respect the bride and groom’s wishes and don’t try to smuggle in your kids like it’s no biggie. Once they get there, they are guests and will need somewhere to sit and something to eat. And people will notice. Remember being a guest at a wedding is not a right but a privilege.

 

There is always another side too. Here’s the scene: a 20-year-old single mother are invited to your college roommates wedding. She has a six-year-old son who Grandma and Grandpa can’t possibly babysit and doesn’t see any other alternative to the situation. What to do? She should call the bride and explain her situation. Ask her if there are any exceptions she’d be willing to make. Some people don’t want kids at their wedding because kids can be sticky, disruptive, and loud, etc. However, and this is a big however, most brides don’t want kids at their wedding simply because they said so. They’re the bride, that’s what they want, and there doesn’t have to be a reason.  Whatever the issue do it with class and dignity and if all else fails, everyone usually understands that moms have to stay at home with the kids. Unless you’re in the wedding, this is just as valid an excuse as the bride requesting her wedding be a kid free zone.

Tradition

Going with Tradition
We’ve all been raised on what our wedding day should be, so what is tradition anyway?
Traditionally, wedding ceremonies are held in a church or other place of worship and have strong religious significance for the bride, groom, and their guests. Depending on the couple’s religious preferences, their ceremony may include prayer, Scripture reading, hymns, or other religious observances. This type of ceremony is almost always officiated by a minister, priest, rabbi, or other clergyman.In traditional wedding ceremonies, the bride’s family sits on the left side and the groom’s family on the right.The groom will enter with the clergy. The number and types of attendants will vary between different wedding ceremonies. The bridesmaids, usually escorted by groomsmen, enter next and can either stand flanking the altar or take seats in the second or third row.
When it is time for the bride to enter, most wedding ceremonies include lively music such as the traditional”Here Comes the Bride” or “Canon in D.” The bride is escorted by her father or another family member who”gives her away” at the altar. The bride and groom, of course, stand next to one another as they face the clergyman.
At the reception it begins with a receiving line consisting of both mothers, the bride and groom, and the
female attendants. It is distinctly non-traditionalto skip the receiving line or to hold it at the church. Theannouncement of the bridal party is garnered with special theme music of the wedding party and parents are
also not a tradition from mainstream etiquette. Waiters can circulate with drinks and hors d’oeuvres while the receiving line is in progress.
Toasts should begin at the end of the guests’ time to eat. If the wedding cake is the major refreshment, then the bride and groom should cut the cake before any toasting takes place. The first toast is the best man’s toast to the bride. This may be followed by other toasts or not.
If there is to be a dinner followed by dancing, the”first dance” occurs after dinner. If food is to be served after dancing begins, the “first dance” is the first major event. In the most traditional format, once the bride and groom have danced, other guests are allowed out on the floor while the bride dances with her father, the groom with his mother, and so on.

Last thing before she exits, the bride tosses her bouquet to the single women in the room. (There is no garter toss at a “traditional” wedding.) The bride and groom change into their “traveling clothes,” return to the party, and exit through a shower of rice, rose petals, or bubbles. And that’s it! The only thing left is to write the thank-you notes.


Going Green

Going Green
So you want to save some green by going green? By going green we are not necessarily referring to money, but that can play an integral part. A green wedding is any wedding where the couple tries to decrease the impact of their event on the planet -and there are many ways to do it without sacrificing style or elegance! Green weddings are eco-chic, which means they are every bit as gorgeous as conventional weddings, but without the waste. And, amazingly enough, going green can save you money. Whether you incorporate just one or two earth-friendly elements, or go completely organic from the silk of your dress to the food you serve, remember that every green choice makes a difference.
Did You Know? 2.3 million is the number of couples that get married in the U.S. each year. That breaks down to more than 6,300 weddings a day. $28,000 is the average budget of a wedding in the U.S. 80 percent is the percentage of gold minded each year that goes into jewelry, out of 2500 tons. 50 years is the length of time the current amount of already-mined gold could satisfy demand; much of it currently sits in bank vaults and in old, unused jewelry.
Going green on your wedding day has environmental, social, and economic benefits.
1. The environmental benefits:
Each one of the 2.3 million weddings this year in the United States will produce an average of 62 tons of carbon dioxide and 400-600 lbs of garbage. That’s a lot of waste! Consider all of the stuff that goes into conventional weddings: single-use bleached white dresses, chemically treated imported flowers, toxic makeup and skin care products, mined gem-based jewelry, to name a few. It adds up quickly! Picture this: if every wedding this year used a disposable aisle runner and they were laid end to end,they would circle the globe twice. Similarly, the amount of paper used for invitations could cover the entire island of Manhattan. If every engaged couple made just one small green choice, which would be 2.3 million greener choices a year and that is an amazing impact.
2. The social benefits:
Weddings are a $60+ billion industry. Having a green wedding is an opportunity to make a difference by supporting companies that actively in corporate social and environmental responsibility into the way they do business. When you start talking to vendors about green choices, and explain your choices to your guests, you support the green economy and change the way people in your community think. You can showcase how easy it is to be eco-chic and share your favorite eco-friendly products with your guests.
3. The economic benefits:
Being green usually saves you money, and in today’s economy this is probably reason enough to do it! By making simple substitutions and eco-conscious decisions, like choosing a location central to the majority of your guests, you can easily decrease your impact on the planet and the cost of your event simultaneously. This is your day to show the ones you love your passion for the environment.
There are many great reasons going green for your wedding is a great idea! Experiment with a few and you can always mix and match to tailor it to your day!

Pre-Wedding Don’ts

There are a few things a bride should avoid the week before your wedding! Here is our list of five Pre-Wedding Don’ts:
1. New Hair Color or drastic haircuts
Even if your colorist is the absolute best, avoid makingchanges to your hair within a week of your wedding.
If you want to refresh your hue without endangering your look, ask your colorist to put a clear gloss on your strands. Wedding trials and consultations start about three months prior to the actual day, and you should keep the same hairstyle throughout the process. Not only will the texture and style of your hair change if you get it chopped, but keep in mind something drastic may not look right with your dress’s neckline, veil, or wedding day jewelry. The closer you get to the big day,the more stressed and emotional you’ll be. You want to make all of these preparations and decisions while you’re still clear headed and calm.
2. A New Workout
Stick to the routine you’ve been doing.Now is not the time for new moves. Pulled muscles can take weeks to heal and you definitely don’t want to be too sore to get down on the dance floor. If your goal is to lose weight, make sure to start a new fitness program well before your dress fittings. And if you’re just looking for an amazing way to relieve pre-wedding stress grab a friend for a quick walk or run in the park.
3. Spray Tan Booths
Spray tanning in a booth may be a budget-friendly option for a safe, sunless glow, but there’s a good chance the color you get won’t match your skin tone as well as other fake tanning alternatives. Rather than stepping into a box—which can result in uneven color if you don’t hold your body just so—it’s best to have a specialist expertly apply the tanning solution so it’s evenly distributed and complements your skin color. And don’t forget to lightly exfoliate beforehand. The color will last longer and you’ll literally glow as you walk down the aisle.
4. Juice Cleanses
I like to think of food as fuel. You need calories to keep you alert and help you get through your crazy, busy weekend. It’s not the time to stop nourishing yourself. Juice cleanses are very low in calories, sapping your energy and making you irritable. And cleanses that include mostly fruit juices are high in sugar. The week before you should be eating well-balanced meals with a focus on fruits and vegetables and drinking plenty of water—and don’t skip any meals!
5. New-to-you Skincare Products Peels & Microdermabrasion
A peel or microderm abrasion session promises silky-smooth skin in the future, but it’s a total no-go the week before you wedding. Schedule any appointments for a peel, microderm abrasion, or other treatments like Botox, at least 2 weeks before your wedding in case there is any redness or bruising.Also, don’t change your skincare regimen if you have fewer than two weeks to go before your wedding. You should change it months in advance. Swapping in a new product could lead to allergic reaction, dryness, oiliness, or a bevy of other side effects that take time to correct. Your doctor can give you a personalized pre-wedding skin care routine, which will address your specific concerns to make sure your skin is radiant for the big day. Your dermatologist should be up there on your to-do list with the dress fittings and flowers.
So, just think about your big day and plan ahead! Pre-Wedding Don’ts can be avoided pretty easily and it doesn’t do you any good to stress about extra things anyway.

Golf Wedding

Spring is here and maybe you’re thinking of a golf wedding theme! The turf is green, the clubhouses are gorgeous and the service is excellent.

Do your parents belong to the local country club? If so, you might be able to reap some major benefits on your bottom line and extras if you book your big day there. Some country clubs offer discounts for members and can really give you a bang for your buck.
Most country clubs have golf courses included on the premises. Why not include that theme into your wedding day?From argyle socks to golf ball décor, you can never go wrong with this uber preppy style! Here are a few ways to incorporate a golf wedding into your theme:
1) The Attire
 We wouldn’t suggest the bride do too much to immerse her look in the golfing theme; however, the guys are fair game. From sporty tweeds to golf ball inspired cuff links, these are just a few ways to incorporate the look and feel of the game.
2) The cake
Petite golf ball cakes or mini donut balls are a cute way to pay homage to the game. If you don’t want it to be your main wedding cake, suggest to your sweetie a“groom’s cake”to have a little more fun with your theme.
3) Grand Entrance / Exit
You can’t forget the golf cart! This could be a unique way tobring the bride to the ceremony spot. Not crazy about that idea? What about your getaway vehicle? The wedding party can decorate the cart in a fun fashion as your private mobile post ceremony.
4) The Décor
Your décor can sprinkle in as much golf-y goodness, from“here comes the bride” flags that mimic the flags on the
course, prints inspired by golf wear, to the wedding favors. Colors to think about incorporating into your palette arebold reds, yellow, green, and even navy blue. Pew bows could have small round white flower balls attachedto themor use golf flags on each pew. The bridal bouquet should be all white to resemble a golf ball. Use indoor/outdoor grass/carpeting as an isle runner. Keep a supply of mini-pencils handy for your guests to send youtheir best wishes in your guest book. Attach tees to your unity candle to complement the links feel as you seal your wedding vows for now and for always. However, if your wedding is actually taking place on a golf course, consider sealing your vows with a shot for the hole together!
5) Program
Ever think of putting a little twist on your wedding program? Your program can mimic a golf score card. Little details
like this keep your golf wedding theme consistent while having a little fun!

Wedding FAQ

Wedding FAQ of Marriage Certificates, Changing your name and other Legal Issues

 

 

What are the key legal issues I should consider before marriage?
Getting a valid marriage license and being married by someone licensed by the state to perform the ceremony is the first consideration. Some states may require a blood test as a condition to getting the license, so check your local laws. Make sure there is nothing legally keeping the two of you from getting married. For example, if you’ve been married previously, make sure you have obtained a valid divorce before your wedding. Be prepared to show the appropriate documents. Beyond these initial issues, you may wish to consider the tax implications of marriage and how your tax bracket could change. Also, if one of the prospective spouses has children from a previous relationship, consider how the new spouse’s income may affect the other spouse’s obligation to pay–or the ability to continue to receive–support.
Whom do I have to inform about changing my name?
Requirements vary from state to state. Generally, one may change one’s name merely by using the new name, as long as fraud–such as to evade taxes or hide from the law–is not intended and the name is not offensive, for example,using an obscenity or epithet as a name. Please see our next article to learn more about how you should handle this situation and who you need to contact, in more detail.
We’re getting married outside the country. Do we need special documents?
U.S. citizens marrying each other abroad need no permission or special documents from the United States. Normally, such marriages are valid in the United States, as long as they are legally performed and considered valid in the country where they take place. However, the country where you plan to marry may have its own, special requirements, possibly including a lengthy waiting period. Of course, you will need your passports and possibly be required to produce birth certificates, and, if appropriate, divorce decrees or death certificates. Your best bet is to check the rules of the specific country before you set the wedding date there.
Is there any way to make all these legal issues easy for me?
You bet there is! A site does the dirty work for you and claims to save over 13 hours of name-changing stress for only $29.95! Check it out Miss now Mrs.com
No matter what your wedding FAQ, there’s always an answer!

Wedding Crazies

Wedding Crazies
You’re a rational adult, right? Or should we say, were? You’ve never been prone to wedding crazies. Yet somehow, you’ve turned into the type of bride (and groom!) you swore you’d never be–the one who gives other brides a bad name–and you have no idea how you got here. Read on to find out how to take the crazy out of your wedding –plus, get advice for curing the wedding insanity pronto.
The Crazy: Irritable Bride (and Groom) Syndrome
It’s only two months into wedding planning, and you could open your own fight club. You can barely spend five minutes together without whipping out the gloves. Did you really just lose it because she wants Mexican for dinner? Congratulations, you’ve officially entered the World’s Dumbest Fight Zone.
The Cause:
Plain and simple, you’re suffering from planning fatigue. Your couple’s reserve has run dry: Too many wedding to dos and too little fun time have burned you both out. Fixating on the finish line (your wedding) at the expense of the day to-day is a common pitfall for engaged couples. But skimping on the sweet nothings can make you feel less connected and more irritable.
The Cure:
Quick! When’s the last time you knocked each other’s proverbial socks off? Still thinking? Yeah, that’s not a good sign. It’s time to look deep into each other’s eyes…and crack the hell up. It’s all about catching yourselves in time and realizing that you’re both being ridiculous and just need a break.

 

The Crazy: Budget Burnout
Your dad is seeing nothing but dollar signs. Instead of being excited, he actually loses a bit of color each time you mention the W-word.
The Cause:
Maybe the word stretched doesn’t even begin to describe what you’ve done to the original budget. So unless you are ponying up your own moola to cover the overages, it’s no mystery why Dad’s blood pressure is running high. Even if you’re staying in the lines, he may be suffering from sticker shock. If the last time he planned a wedding was his own,he probably isn’t too thrilled about what the cost of a wedding these days will do to his retirement prospects.
The Cure:
Take Pops out to dinner (and feel free to shamelessly ply him with steak to make him talk). Drag the touchy topic out into the open, so you can both get a clear idea of where things stand. Once he knows you’re on the same page and you’re willing to work with his budget, he’ll be more likely to show his excitement for you and join the planning committee.
The Crazy: Nuptial OCD
Pop quiz: What do cereal, global warming and puppies have in common? If they all managed to remind you of your wedding, you’ve got it bad. Yep, you’ve become one of those brides who can only talk about her wedding.
The Cause:
It’s easy to become so fixated on the wedding that you lose sight of everything–and everyone–else.
The Cure:
It should be one of the best days of your life, but it shouldn’t be your entire life. Channel the you that you used to be pre-engagement. Now tap back into your former fun self.
Wedding crazies don’t need to run your life if you are able to peel yourself away and see it from a distance! The next time you feel stressed, take a deep breath and reboot.

Bad Etiquette

Dealing with Bad Etiquette from Family and Friends
You are bound to see bad etiquette at some point or another throughout the wedding planning process. Etiquette can
come in the form of the proper way to congratulate you, telling you how to run your day, becoming a prima donna with special requests galore, and/or having uncouth behavior or actions.
So your third cousin comes out of the woodwork and asks if she is invited. Well, not everyone has the manner and
grace as you my darling. And it’s tactless to assume. It’s hard to try and invite everyone, but I assume your third
cousin probably is not going to make the cut. You should be honest, and let them know that you are having a small, intimate wedding and unfortunately you cannot invite extended family. Hopefully, she will understand.
Yes, you want to make sure your guests are comfortable, well accommodated, and of course, having fun. However,
when your step-grandma demands that you serve Pellegrino instead of tap water and that she only eats organic, gluten-free; tell you can accommodate her diet certainly on the gluten-free part, especially if she has Celiac Disease.
All other requests are a bit lofty, and to ask you is completely rude. If they have a food allergy or sensitivity, absolutely 100% without a doubt you should make sure they are well-cared for. Otherwise, they can pass on whatever they don’t prefer that is served to them.Let’s say that you’ve sent out your invites…and it was sent to

“Miss Joanna Smith.” However, the RSVP card reads“Miss Joanna Smith +1.” Um, so your friend thinks she is now running the guest list. How awesome of her. Is she also paying for +1’s food and drinks? Simply tell your friend this is not allowed. Unfortunately the invitation was only addressed to her, and not her plus a guest. Hopefully,she will understand.
Some of these things may and may not sound familiar to you. If they do, be gracious, honest, and hopefully your family and friends will understand. This day is about the bride and groom.