Family trouble

Family Trouble

 

Family trouble can pop up in any wedding situation when two people decide to merge their families and traditions. With the holidays coming up we will address some ways to cope. There are always two sides of the situation. Perhaps your fiancé’s family you are the problem.  Maybe they view you as not ambitious enough, or domestic, or whatever. However, their son chose YOU. And, they will be stuck with YOU for the rest of their lives as well. It might not be an ideal situation but family trouble can fade over time.

You might not know the reasons why they are not fond of you, but you can definitely feel the tension and uneasiness when you are around. They may bring up your fiance’s former girlfriend (a lot) in your presence or ignore you at family functions. The good news is that you can try and work through that – you will be around for a lifetime. Hopefully they will be welcoming you with open arms and not folded ones. Some ways to get in your this “person’s” good graces is to always be graceful, appropriate and the bigger person. This is hard but in the long run it can save your marriage.
Maybe his parents take shots at you. You know, little digs, here and there. Which, is not cool, but rise above that nonsense! Never stoop to the level of immaturity that they might. Take the high road if possible. Do nice things for them. Whether it’s take them to lunch, send a hand written note (just because) or to thank them fora gift, gesture, or whatever…they will take notice. And if they don’t, that’s their prerogative and you’ll still be the classy person.
If you feel comfortable enough doing so ask them to meet with you sans your fiancé. Ask them why your relationship is not as close as you would it to be, and if there is anything you can do to win their approval. Sometimes putting them on the spot will immediately solve the situation.Other times they may be obstinate and your fiancé may have to step in to say something. But, first thing is first, show them you aren’t afraid of them, you love their son, and you want to make this work.
It might not be overnight, but family trouble is a common thing in marriages. Most of the time it can be solved with simple communication and understanding. Hopefully, they will come to their senses and love you as much as your significant other does. There is a reason why you two are getting hitched- they should realize that!
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