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The Second Time Around
Is this your second time around on the marriage thing? Not that long ago, popular thought dictated that second weddings should not be elaborate, formal or extravagant; rather, one should aim for smaller, quieter and more intimate. Today however, more than 30 percent of today’s weddings are second weddings and decidedly more commonplace. The focus is on celebrating two people who have found each other, discovering love again and embarking on a new beginning. In truth, celebrations can be as elaborate or as intimate as we desire,without fearing social stigma.
Announcing your engagement is supposed to be fun! When planning your second wedding, one of your major concerns will be the effect it has on your children, if involved. They should be the first to know of your decision to remarry. After all, you will be uniting two families, and two sets of children will naturally experience stress.
Your parents should be informed next, followed by your ex, if you have joint custody. Your ex may be an asset when it comes to reassuring your children about their role in the new family. The second time around can be tricky but hopefully everyone has moved on and is happy for you.
- Don’t wear engagement rings from the past. Once you begin planning and announcing the news, all signs of former loves should disappear.
- If hosting your engagement party, do not expect gifts. We don’t host gift giving events for ourselves.
- Whom to Invite? When planning your special event, realize that you can invite anyone you want to your wedding. You may want to avoid inviting former in-laws and ex-spouses, even if you’re on good terms. It could be socially awkward.
For a couple entering into a second marriage, wedding plans aren’t necessarily less elaborate. Many brides and grooms pull out all the stops for their second‘I do’s. If you are planning a second wedding, here are some things to keep in mind:
- If you want to wear a traditional white wedding gown, go for it. The‘no white’rule has been abolished.
- Registering for gifts is perfectly acceptable. If you already have all the household items you need, consider setting up a honeymoon registry.
- If you are divorced and want to have a church wedding, check with the cleric well before your wedding date to make sure the church permits second weddings. If you get turned away, try a nondenominational minister.
- Consider a destination wedding. They are a popular option for second weddings.
- If you have kids, involve them. This is a great way to prevent them from feeling alienated and to help them get excited about your nuptials.
The Second time around in marriage can be a great new beginning for you and your groom!