Wedding Planning Conflict – Keeping The Peace

Keeping the Peace Between Bride and Groom

Your wedding day is supposed to be about love, unity, and togetherness, but often the planning process can result in blowouts of epic proportions between the bride and groom. Here are a few practical tips to help keep the peace if…

The Groom is Uninvolved: Many feuds come as a result of a groom’s general lack of interest in all things wedding-related. If your partner is unenthusiastic about the wedding planning, try to cut him a little slack. He’s a guy. His indifference about the wedding planning doesn’t mean he isn’t thrilled to be marrying you; it means he isn’t thrilled about flowers, favors, and centerpieces. To get him more involved, try to assign him tasks that might excite him like selecting the food for the rehearsal dinner, planning the honeymoon, creating a reception playlist, or choosing the cocktails for your guests. It’ll remove some of the stress from your plate while also getting him actively involved in something of interest to him.

The Groom is Too Involved: Every now and then, a groom comes along who wants to be actively involved in every detail and decision of the wedding planning process. This can result in a number of fights and frustrations. If your guy is overly involved, try to establish some boundaries. Have a sit-down discussion about the wedding details and allow him to take responsibility for the areas that are of utmost importance to him, keeping responsibility for the details most important to you. Whenever possible, try to schedule meetings together, but discuss your ideas beforehand so you can be prepared with a general understanding about what you both want.

The Groom is Freaking Out About the Bill: Money and budgeting is one of the biggest causes of stress in the planning of any wedding, especially if you and the groom are responsible for much or all of the bill. To avoid a financial fracas, it’s imperative that you establish a wedding budget together. If you can’t afford the lavish wedding of your dreams, figure out areas where you can cut corners and save costs so that you can splurge on details that are more important. Keep detailed records of your costs as you go and set aside money ahead of time for unexpected expenses that may arise throughout the planning process. This wedding budget tracker may help.

The Groom Has Very Different Tastes: If you’re having a hard time seeing eye-to-eye with your groom on the wedding details, theme, or style, it can put a serious crimp in the planning. Although you may be tempted to scoff at his idea of a Star Wars-inspired rehearsal dinner and cut him out of the planning altogether, remember that this day is just as much about him as you. The wedding is meant to be a reflection and celebration of your relationship and unique personalities. The best way to avoid conflicts about differing tastes is to compromise. Walk through the major wedding details together and come to an agreement on ways to incorporate both of your ideas and identities.

The Groom Wants to Invite His Third Cousin’s Neighbor’s Girlfriend: Narrowing down the wedding guest list can be a daunting task for any couple and it can certainly add stress to the wedding, especially when you’re trying to stay in the confines of a predetermined budget. If the guest list is getting out of hand, talk it over with your partner and decide on a reasonable number for each of you to invite. If there are still others you’re hoping to invite, consider creating an A-list (non-negotiable guests) and a B-list (friends, colleagues, and distant relatives that you’d like to invite). As guests from the A-list start to RSVP, send out additional invitations for every person who sends their regrets. If you still can’t cut down the guest list, consider holding the wedding at a larger venue or offering hors d’oeuvres and cocktails instead of dinner to save money.

All in all, wedding planning conflicts can be avoided by open and honest communication. Planning your nuptials together can be great preparation for the challenges of marriage that lie ahead. Learn to clearly communicate your feelings, needs, and desires in a way that isn’t aggressive, confrontational, or mean-spirited. Remind yourself (over and over, if necessary) that your wedding day is about celebrating your love and relationship. If you stay focused on the true purpose of the day, you’ll be less likely to be swept into the stress of insignificant details. And if all else fails, hire a wedding planner to eliminate the stress altogether!

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