Go to your Neutral Corner
Ah, engaged life. Fancy parties in your honor, a legitimate excuse to plunk down thousands for one dress, and so many more sweet activities and planning. You never expected the downside: hissing at each other in bridal registry departments and screaming matches over the wedding guest list. The engagement period can be a minefield of hot topics that can trigger huge blowouts — sometimes chiavari chairs are not JUST chairs. How about you try and go to your neutral corner for a minute and keep in mind some important tips!
Unless you are both orphans, you must expect family issues to come to the fore during the pre-wedding planning. You have to keep in mind that not only will you be sharing a bed and a house with your future husband but you will also be sharing families! As old-fashioned as it sounds, you are marrying into a family. Whether it be invitation or food arguments, be firm with your family when expressing that this is a day for the bride and groom, and to not live vicariously through each of you.
Most men are clueless when it comes to design and decor. But, this doesn’t mean that you should give up on including him, however. Find out what he is interested in and encourage him to participate in that part. Sure, picking out flowers and invitations may not be on your man’s weekend fun list, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be involved in other ways. If he doesn’t know, explain to him what his options are regarding food, photography, music, etc. And remember: Don’t make the wedding the only interest you share.
Sit down with him, like two adults, and work out the finances of the wedding together. After all, it’s both your money and whether it’s spent on a blow out honeymoon or the shoes of your dreams…it’s all coming from the same pocketbook.
Drop the Martha act. Your guy may have a point. If the wedding has become more important than your relationship, that’s a warning sign. Yes, you want a lovely wedding, but not at the expense of your relationship. After all, what’s the point? Keep your future in mind.
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