Not only is it incredibly romantic and meaningful to write your own wedding vows, they can add a personal touch to your big day and sprinkle the ceremony with laughs or poignancy. If you and your soon-to-be spouse are thinking about crafting your own wedding vows, follow these five easy steps:
Step 1: Get Approval
Before you get started, be sure that your wedding officiant will allow original vows. Certain denominations require traditional vows, so before you do all the work, ask if personalized vows are permitted. Often, houses of worship will allow you to combine traditional vows with your own written vows. Regardless, be sure to let the officiant review your vows before the big day.
Step 2: Establish Expectations
While it’s understandable to keep certain aspects of your vows under wraps until the wedding, it’s important to discuss your expectations with your fiancé before the big day so you’re both on the same page. Some couples opt to write their vows together to guarantee cohesion and eliminate any potential for disappointment. If you do decide to write individual vows, discuss the length and style ahead of time to guarantee vows that are similar in style and depth.
Step 3: Determine Your Style
Like every couple, every wedding is unique and it should be a reflection of your individual personalities. Original vows are a wonderful way to add a personal touch to the wedding and create a certain atmosphere. Some couples take a light-hearted approach to vow-writing, crafting promises that are humorous and charming, while others opt for something more traditional, serious, or romantic. Whatever your preference, decide on a voice that’s fitting for you as a couple and write vows in the same tone.
Step 4: Create an Outline
To guarantee cohesion between the two sets of vows, establish an outline that you and your fiancé can both follow when writing. Structure, length, and flow are an important part of the vows. Talk about how you might want to organize your thoughts so that they make sense and complement each other’s. For example, begin your vows with a personal anecdote about your relationship, a story of how you met, or when you knew you were in love before moving onto your promises and commitments.
Step 5: Get Help!
There’s nothing wrong with seeking a little assistance when it comes to writing your vows. This is one of the most important moments of your life: you want it to be perfect! Find a trustworthy friend or relative to read over your vows and give you honest feedback. Or go online and find samples of vows that you like as inspiration for length, layout, and voice.