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Mother-in-law

Monster-in-Law/Mother-in-law
In-laws can be challenging in the first place. But, when you throw in a temperamental and unstable mother-in-law
(MIL), things can be exponentially challenging. A few years ago, there was an email that echoed around the world from the most spiteful and venomous MIL.
Here are some snippets from the email:
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you. Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
 
* When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless
you are positively allergic to something.
 
* You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
 
* You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
 
* When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
 
It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren’t the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.
 
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is
nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over
the years for their daughters’ marriages.) If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
What would your reaction be to that email? Quite shocking, right? If you would like to read the email click here. Not all mother-in-law’s are that bad, but it sometimes can be challenging to deal with overbearing, has to have the last word or is always right, or I’m his Mother, I know best-types. Some tips to always rise above and not stoop to her level is:
1. Remember the “mere exposure affect”
Contrary to the well-known saying that “familiarity breeds contempt,” in fact, familiarity breeds affection.
The “mere exposure effect” means that repeated exposure makes people like faces, music—even nonsense syllables—better.  The more often you see another person, the more intelligent and attractive you tend to find that person. Instead of avoiding your mother-in-law, take the time to see her and talk to her. You may start getting along better if you engage with her more often.
2. Do something nice for the difficult person
It’s really true: Do good, feel good. You’ll also inspire the difficult person to feel more loving toward you.
3. Act in accordance with your own values
One of the mysteries of human nature is that when we accept ourselves, other people tend to accept us. When we don’t accept ourselves, people tend to pester us. If you know your own values, and live according to them, pointed remarks don’t sting nearly as much and the other person begins to realize you have your own life and will live it accordingly.
So, don’t let the mother-in-law or any in-law take you for granted or make you feel inadequate. Your significant other chose YOU, so let that speak for itself.

How to Handle a Momzilla

Brides often get a bad rep for being bridezillas, but the mother-of-the-bride can be just as demanding and troublesome. If your mom (or the mother-of-the-groom) is getting a little out of hand, use these simple tips to help save the peace at your wedding.

Warn Others

If you are dealing with a Momzilla, don’t keep it a secret. Warn your wedding planner and other vendors. They can help you handle a Momzilla who is interfering with your wedding plans, and they will appreciate knowing in advance what to expect. For instance, if you don’t tell the DJ to ignore all song requests from your over-involved mom, you may end up listening to all of your mother’s favorite songs at the wedding instead of the songs you and your fiancé requested. While you should consider your parents’ opinions, the day ultimately belongs to you and your fiancé.

Plan Ahead

If you know you will be dealing with a Momzilla, make plans before she can interfere. For instance, if your Momzilla will be too outspoken about the dress you wear, go shopping with friends to find the perfect dress. Then take your mom back to see the gown once you have made a decision about the dress you want.

Keep Her Busy

Momzillas want to be involved, and they will be very offended if you don’t take any of their suggestions. To avoid an argument, choose a task that isn’t too important to you and assign it to the Momzilla. This could be something simple like creating the welcome bags for out of town guests or something more involved such as the rehearsal dinner. Giving the Momzilla a job will not only make her feel involved, but it will also keep her busy so you can get more important planning done.

 

Happy wedding planning, and best of luck dealing with your Momzilla.