wedding planning self-care

Wedding Planning Self Care

Wedding Planning Self-Care

Some weddings go as planned. Other wedding planning processes have several bumps on the way. While we cannot change whether storms come your way, we can learn to handle them in a healthier way. Here are three wedding planning self-care tips.

The first self-care gift you can give yourself is perspective.

A wedding is an incredibly special event in life. That is why when things go awry, or not as planned, couples get upset. That being said, it is incredibly important to be aware that having a beautiful wedding is a privilege many people do not get to have. So when things go wrong, give yourself a moment to feel your feelings. We all have those moments.

Then, put it in perspective! There are people who do not have anyone to love them. There are people who do not have a home, or food to eat. When you put your wedding planning problems in perspective you will realize how small those things really are. We all can get stuck in our feelings. But we need to remember there is a difference between a disaster and a mild inconvenience. Remember, words are powerful. It’s like your mom told you when you were little swimming at the pool. Don’t yell, “Help!” unless you need it. The same goes for wedding planning bumps. Don’t call it a disaster if it isn’t one. It’s a psychological trick so you can calm your brain and problem solve.

The next self-care practice you can do for yourself is to take action.

Maybe one of your bridesmaids gets a new job and can’t come to your wedding. Potentially your favorite wedding photographer is unavailable. Perhaps you have to change your date. Whatever your bump in the road is; analyze your options, then take action. If a bridesmaid can’t be there, of course it’s sad. But there are no rules saying the bridal party sides have to be even. If that’s the worst thing to happen, you’re doing great! If your favorite vendor is unavailable, ask around your other vendors and friends. Someone will have a great recommendation you will be happy with.

And lastly, here’s the big one: your date has to change because of a natural disaster, act of God, or venue conflict. Think of options: Option #1- You get married at the courthouse or elope. Option #2- You get married at the courthouse and have your big wedding with everyone you want there, church and reception at a later date. Option #3- You postpone your wedding ceremony and all for a different date so you can have the day you imagined. Those are only a few ideas for options. I’m sure you can come up with many. See! Think of your actions and act! Don’t sit in the yuck! Strategize and make the next best decision one decision at at time.

Do not let wedding planning take over your life.

Take your wedding planning one task at a time. You have to protect  your sanity. The first way to do this is delegating tasks to your, eager to help, nearest and dearest. One of the useful aspects of having a bridal party is more hands to help. Your family might be willing to help too. Odds are, everyone will be happy to help you. It is humanly impossible to do it all on your own. Ask for help!

The next way to not let wedding planning take over your life is by taking breaks. We all need a mental break every time and again. You can designate one or two days a week to do your wedding planning. Designate a time limit too so you don’t get burned out.

And lastly, have some alone time with your fiance! Continuously reconnect so you both don’t forget what you are doing all this planning for. Date nights don’t have to be expensive! A little cuddling on the couch goes a long way. Above all else; it is important you keep your relationship a priority. A wedding day is one day. A marriage is a lifetime!

Did you find this tips helpful? Do you need more wedding planning tips and advice? Check out the Chicago Wedding Blog posts below!

Wedding Planning Conflicts – Handling Touchy Subjects

In a dream world, your wedding will be perfect, flawless, and free of conflict or drama. In the real world, issues and confrontation are bound to happen. As much as you love them, your friends and family might be the cause of some of these disputes. Nip conflict in the bud with these helpful tips.

How to deal with…

A friend who is determined to be a bridesmaid: Choosing your maid of honor and bridesmaids is a challenging task, often made more difficult by friends or relatives who have false hopes of being asked. You should never include someone in the bridal party because you feel guilty or bullied into it. If you have a woman in your life with her heart set on being a bridesmaid, kindly explain to her why she didn’t make the cut. Maybe you’ve decided to only include relatives or you want a small bridal party. If it’s possible, find another role for her to fill in the wedding party, like a program attendant, honorary bridesmaid, or scripture reader, so she feels included in the festivities.

An overbearing mom or mother-in-law: The wedding day is a special moment for the parents of the bride and groom so keep that in mind when dealing with your mom and mother-in-law. With that said, if you feel like they’re encroaching on your territory or being way too controlling, have an honest heart-to-heart about your feelings. Be polite, but direct, gracious, but honest. Keep them involved by finding specific tasks where you could really use their help or input.

Parents who want to invite too many guests: It’s easy for the guest list to balloon to epic proportions but it’s imperative that you keep the invitees to a reasonable amount. The easiest way to deal with parents or in-laws who are being pushy or demanding about guests is to be firm. When you start planning your wedding, determine exactly how many guests each family will be allowed to invite (preferably an equal number on both sides) and make them stick to it. If a parent is absolutely unwilling to budge on their invitees, explain the added cost and expense to them for each additional person who attends the wedding. If it’s that important to them, they may want to foot the bill for the extra cost.

Unhelpful bridesmaids: It’s important you remember that your bridesmaids are, first and foremost, your friends. They’re not hired help or indentured servants. With that said, there’s a certain amount of responsibility that comes with the title. If you feel like your bridal party is being unhelpful, uninterested, or uncaring, address the issue. Instead of demanding their assistance, let them know how stressed you are and how much you could really use their help. That alone should be enough to get your friends to rally in your time of need.

Misbehaving flower girls/ring bearers: Having young children in your bridal party adds fun and charm to your wedding festivities, but kids are kids and their behavior can be unexpected. Even the most well-behaving children can resort to tantrums, waterworks, or stage fright when shoved into a fancy outfit and put on display for a crowd of hundreds. You should always keep that in mind before asking a child to be a part of your day. With that said, if you’ve chosen pint-sized attendants, the wedding has arrived, and their behavior is out of control, have a chat with their parents. Find out if there’s an easy way to get the child to cooperate. If not, consider asking a parent or trusted adult to walk the children down the aisle, or skip the procession altogether and simply include them in the pictures. It’s also a great idea to have parents seated up close so that, assuming their children do make it down the aisle, they’re not expected to stand for the duration of the ceremony. Keeping Kids Entertained At Your Wedding

Inappropriate bachelor/ette party plans: One of the many responsibilities of the bridesmaids and groomsmen (and the one they’re probably looking forward to the most) is planning the bachelor and bachelorette parties. These can be as wild and crazy or laid-back and low-key as they prefer, but the important thing is that everyone is on the same page. If you or your husband-to-be are hoping for a calm, classy affair but you’re nervous that your pals have a stripper on speed-dial, the best way to avoid an awkward or upsetting evening is to have an open discussion ahead of time. While it’s not your place to plan your bachelor/ette party by yourself, it’s completely reasonable for you to share your expectations with your friends. While they get to be the ones to plan it, ultimately the party is supposed to be about you, so you should never have to take part in something that makes you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or overly embarrassed (although some amount of embarrassment is to be expected).

Bridesmaids 101

Chances are you’ve been a bridesmaid once or twice yourself, or have at the very least known a bridesmaid or two in your day, but just in case you haven’t, here’s an overview on who the bridesmaids are, how to choose them, and what they’re responsible for.

How Many: As the bride, the number of bridesmaids at the wedding is entirely up to you. There’s no right or wrong answer for the appropriate number of attendants at the nuptials. You can have as few as just a maid of honor and no bridesmaids, if you so choose, or as many as a small army. You and your fiancé should make that decision based on the size of your wedding, your budget, and your personal preference.

Who to Ask: Again, there’s no formula or rule stating who should and should not be a bridesmaid. Feel free to ask anyone you’d like, but you may want to consider these questions before selecting bridesmaids: How close am I with this person? Will she be supportive? Do I think our relationship will stand the test of time? It’s important to select bridesmaids who you have a deep and meaningful relationship with, like a sibling, relative, future in-law, or close friend, which will hopefully last well into the future. You don’t want to look back on your wedding photos and see a virtual stranger because you prematurely asked a new friend who didn’t have staying power.

What to Expect: It’s customary for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, shoes, and accessories. If you have room in your budget to accommodate some or all of these costs, it’s an amazing way to bless your attendants, but it’s not necessary. Ultimately, the selection of the bridesmaids’ dresses is up to you, but your pals will surely appreciate it if you bring them in on the decision.

The bridesmaids are definitely expected to attend pre-wedding festivities (i.e. rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, bridesmaids’ brunch, etc) and they will typically help out with some of the pre-wedding planning. That doesn’t mean, however, that they’re at your beck and call. Be respectful of their time and other commitments when asking for their assistance.

Lastly, the bridesmaids typically help organize and host your bridal shower and bachelorette party. It’s not uncommon, though, for another friend or close relative to throw the festivities instead.

Keep the peace with bridesmaids

Wedding Planning Conflict

More on keeping the peace