Unsupportive Families

Unsupportive Families Part I

Thanksgiving is right around the corner so now’s the time to address unsupportive families. Your parents don’t approve of your fiancé. We’re not just saying boyfriend, but fiancé. It’s crunch time before the wedding and plans are in motion…yet, Mom and Dad aren’t big fans of Mr. Right.

 

So, how do you deal with unsupportive families? Does this affect your decision to move forward with a marriage? Basically, do you choose your man over your family? Perhaps, they think he could be a snazzier dresser or have a better haircut. Maybe they’re not crazy about his family,his paycheck, his car. Or maybe they fell in love with the navy officer you dated in college and feel no one else will ever compare. Whatever the reason, and despite how happy you are to be engaged, your parents have yet to embrace their future son-in-law (though at this point, you’d settle for an acknowledgment of his existence). In this situation, the hardest part of planning your wedding may be the one thing you can’t control: your parents.

1) Be Up Front

Tell your parents that you would like them to be part of our day, but that their involvement is their choice. A decision to respond in a proactive-rather than reactive-way to your parents help keep things in perspective.

2) Keep Your Chin Up

A positive attitude will be your best defense against your parents’ snide comments or chilly indifference. Before these things make an ugly dent in your earnest enthusiasm, develop a motto with the staying power to get you through. Repeating a mantra, something that keeps you calm and focused, can be the quickest way back to sanity. Unfortunately, when you are an adult, your parent’s don’t always know what is best for you. You do. Live your life and hopefully your parents will be proven wrong about your “big mistake” on marrying Mr. Not Good Enough. Unsupportive families can sometimes come around when they see how good it is for you.